Fears
By Darryl Duke. Filed in Belief |Tags: alcoholism, faith, fear, sobriety
I wrote in my book how fears began in my childhood, grew in my teenage years, and stayed with me throughout my adult life. Thankfully, through the twelve and a half years I’ve been sober, I have been able to overcome my fears and learn how to cope with new ones. Most of any new fears I feel are really just old ones that for one reason or another sometimes resurface and makes me unhappy. However, because I’m aware they’re old fears it’s easy for me to quickly move past them. Really when I think about it, the only new fears I seem to experience anymore come from doubts I sometimes have. The most prominent one I have today is whether or not my book, which will hopefully be published in April, will be successful enough to afford me the chance to go out and help others at the level I want to. Fortunately, as I said earlier, I’ve learned how to cope with new fears, but there are days when I need help. On those days I pray to whatever created life and the Universe to give me guidance and reassurance, and thank it for everything in my life. Then, despite this fear caused by doubt, I go about my day and wait for this Creator I call God to give me this guidance and reassurance through what some people would call a sign. It is these signs that I began calling “non coincidences” several years ago that fills me with a greater belief in a Creator, and a greater belief that I am on the right track with what I set out to do in life. Sometimes it happens through a song I haven’t heard for awhile that holds some special meaning to me or a magazine article that I feel I was meant to read, and other times it happens through an informative tv show of some type. However, many times these “non coincidences” happen by a chance meeting with a total stranger who in conversation says something that helps give me the guidance and reassurance I prayed for. It is through other people that I have learned to have hope. And through prayer that I have come to believe there is something rather than nothing that created life and the Universe for a reason. It has been these tools of prayer, people, and hope that have not only kept me sober, but has contributed to the happiness I cherish so much today. Without them I don’t know what I would have done when the doubts and fears I felt throughout my sobriety, especially early on, almost conquered and overcame me.
Tuesday, January 20th 2009 at 8:23 AM |
I understand what you are saying about fears and doubts. Having a strong belief in a higher power can be another way of saying we have faith that things will be alright. We can also have faith in others to help us through our fears whether real or imagined. We ultimately have to have faith in ourselves to counter our doubts and move ahead past our fears to live our dreams.
I also have had fears since my childhood and now it takes the form of anxiety. Somewhere along the line I had lost faith in everything, but I have always been a survivor. I’ve also experienced “non coincidences” and they can come in the time of need. They even take the form of a chance to laugh at ourselves because sometimes we need a nudge not to take ourselves so seriously all the time.
Anyways, I enjoyed reading what you wrote about fear. Learning about how others deal with their fears can only help those of us still struggling.
Tuesday, January 20th 2009 at 10:40 AM |
I appreciate your reply. I did have Alcoholics Anonymous and The Twelve Steps to help me with fears in my sobriety, but after several years I began to use other sources to help me. I like what you wrote here, and I get the feeling you have been through quite a lot in your life. It takes some us longer to become stronger, and there are many things that can help us a long the way. Sometimes just talking to other people can help alleviate some of our fears, or at least help us better understand them. I don’t believe you reading this post was a coincidence, and I thank you once a gain for commenting.